The Resident Lounge Revisited

Who Are the suspects in the residency lounge vandalisms? First, lets consider the possibility; could it all be a series of accidents? The beds are the cheapest of cheap, maybe somebody just sat on them to heavily. But twice? Maybe the hair in the drain is just old, built up over tim. But why was it all long and one color? The busted mirror? Maybe bad luck. Who knows. And who attempted to Jimmy the lock? Wouldn't the perpetrator know the code? But, who are the suspects? Cade? Probably number one in some minds. He did "steal" the flat screen TV from the hospice lounge. Who could be more heartless and lawless? Does that man know no limits or have no morals? Me? I am certainly not above suspicion. I have never been known as the strictest rule abider. There are some in the hospital who probably think I am capable of this. What about the EM / IM resident who I will refer to as our own version of "The Fat Man", except she is "The Fat Woman" And the name is well earned. While she lacks the flare and intelligence of the original, she at least lives up to the name. Maybe she sat too hard on the super cheap beds, and they went down. She has to sleep somewhere, after all. What about the aforementioned Peds resident. With the drug habit and the paranoid schizophrenia, I still put her at the top of the list, and she has the long hair. The butch fat woman does not. What about Lyle? The freaky resident with the wife in the GI fellowship? Did they practice colonoscopies on each other in the sleeping area and get too frisky on the beds? Is that all ass hair in those pipes? Who knows. I am certain the investigation continues, and I will be sure to keep you posted.