New Clue in Residency Lounge case

As hard as this may be to believe, I have stumbled onto an astonishing new clue in the lounge vandalism case. I went in, late last night, to use the restroom and heard voices and laughing from the back. When I looked further I found a few of the staff in there, with a complete hair cutting operation going on! I mean the entire bed had this big fancy kit spread out on it, the person getting their hair cut was on a stool, with a drape around their neck and everything looked super professional. There were hair cuttings all on the floor, which they assured me they would be vacuuming up after they finished. They also assured me they were all either off duty or on lunch break. I couldn't believe it! This could explain how the hair got in the drains, in fact I'm pretty sure it does. However, they asked me how the beds got broken, so they must not have been involved in that...or were they? Now the big question is should I mention this to anybody, at least just to convince them to change the locks or something. I would never reveal any names, because I like all these people, but to say the least, I was shocked. Note: The actual details and circumstances of this encounter were significantly altered for the purpose of this blog. The encounter actually occurred several weeks ago and I actually only heard about it second hand, rather than witness it myself. Remember, this blog in no way reflects actual occurrences, it simply tells a story about the residency experience. Again, as the disclaimer states, the reader would do better to spend his / her time looking into their own hearts and souls than to try to place real people to these fictional events. Do I make this point very clear? lol.

Residency candidates

Going out to dinner tonight with some residency candidates. The best I can say about this is it will be a free meal. We have really had some duds at times. Like the guy that kept telling me to check out the female candidates ass while on the tour of the hospital. And the guy who thought he was the next thing to god, and said that he left his wife at the hotel for dinner, because he didn't care what she thought. And so many more. It is really hard to believe what some people actually say and do.

Afghanistan

The afghan war dead total 55 so far this month, the deadliest since we entered the war in a place I can't even spell. On another note, the word for the day at work has been felching, or felcher. I don't even dare to define this word on this website....

Do I Have Swine Flu?

I have a fever, runny nose, myalgias, I feel like shit! Do I have the Swine Flu? I think so....lbut I don't have a cough or anything. Who knows.

Bad Luck

Just back from the Ozarks and a big weekend of trout fishing, during which I caught absolutely zero trout! At least my friend caught two good sized brooks and we had trout for dinner once anyway. Oh well. I am always bad luck when I fish.

Swine Flu

The number of swine flu deaths topped 1,000 on the year in the US today. Sounds scary? An average of 36, 000 die per year from seasonal flu related complications in this country. A high year since 92 has seen 56,000. So it isnt time to panic (oh, its too late for that, huh?). However, the traditional seasonal flu will likely also strike later this year, and bring many more deaths, particularly amongst the elderly, with it.

AAA

A 19 year old girl came to our ED today, complaining that she had a AAA (abdominal aortic aneurysm). She was smiling and laughing and said that she thinks it is ruptured. Her cousin, a nurse, had told her that she had a pulsating mass in her belly and that she needed checked out. She sent her with a list of tests that we should perform to diagnose the aneurysm. I was so glad. The girl certainly did not have an aneurysm, but I attempted to calmly reassure her. However she insisted and seemed terrified so I ordered a few of the desired tests. No aneurysm. Ridiculous.... She was kind of nice though, and I think her cousin the nurse had just really scared her.

Dental Residents

Allow me to start by saying I love my dentist. He is one of the most intelligent men I have had the privilege of speaking too. He has far more general medical knowledge than I. The only problem I have with him is that he always starts conversations that are dependent on me answering 100 questions while I have my mouth open wide and full of instruments. Anyway, the dental residents here at our hospital, I don't love quite so much. Today, they sent over a lady from the dental clinic because of bleeding gums. I mean minor bleeding gums. They requested that she be evaluated for a bleeding disorder. I did a CBC to check platelets and Hgb, and informed the pt that any further workup would need to be coordinated by her family doctor, because these are not the kind of things we do in the ER. She was unhappy and took it upon herself to page the dental resident from her room phone. The resident came down and chewed me out for 5 minutes. She wanted something done, and done know. She had intended for me to diagnose the problem, and send the pt back to complete her dental work, before the dental office closed at five. She wanted to know why her critical patient had set in the waiting room six hours before even being evaluated. This changed nothing that I planned to do, and it made it obvious how little she understood about medicine in general. I stayed calm, and attacked her instead with the use of big words like Idiopathic Thrombocytopenic purpura and diathesis. We parted on fairly good terms, and hopefully she has the point that we don't need her bogus referrals, particularly in the midst of the swine flu crises.

The Resident Lounge Revisited

Who Are the suspects in the residency lounge vandalisms? First, lets consider the possibility; could it all be a series of accidents? The beds are the cheapest of cheap, maybe somebody just sat on them to heavily. But twice? Maybe the hair in the drain is just old, built up over tim. But why was it all long and one color? The busted mirror? Maybe bad luck. Who knows. And who attempted to Jimmy the lock? Wouldn't the perpetrator know the code? But, who are the suspects? Cade? Probably number one in some minds. He did "steal" the flat screen TV from the hospice lounge. Who could be more heartless and lawless? Does that man know no limits or have no morals? Me? I am certainly not above suspicion. I have never been known as the strictest rule abider. There are some in the hospital who probably think I am capable of this. What about the EM / IM resident who I will refer to as our own version of "The Fat Man", except she is "The Fat Woman" And the name is well earned. While she lacks the flare and intelligence of the original, she at least lives up to the name. Maybe she sat too hard on the super cheap beds, and they went down. She has to sleep somewhere, after all. What about the aforementioned Peds resident. With the drug habit and the paranoid schizophrenia, I still put her at the top of the list, and she has the long hair. The butch fat woman does not. What about Lyle? The freaky resident with the wife in the GI fellowship? Did they practice colonoscopies on each other in the sleeping area and get too frisky on the beds? Is that all ass hair in those pipes? Who knows. I am certain the investigation continues, and I will be sure to keep you posted.

A new Name

Anshawnalakiesha. How about that to add to the collection of names?

Hogs Nearly pulll Major Upset

The season has already had its highs and lows for the hogs, but a superlative high nearly came yesterday with an upset of Florida. The hogs were thwarted at the last second by a field goal, to put the gators up 23-20. Oh well. Mallet played well anyway, and I am really starting to like this team.

Swine Flu

43 kids have died this year so far from swine flu, and it is not even time for "true flu season". In an average flu season only 50 die. That's for the entire year. As I have said, Hospitals that I know of personally are putting into action emergency plans for overflow tents. Is this thing going to be that bad? It is certainly going downhill right now.

Watching a recent sunrise, I was reminded of the bathroom at one of my favorite beach bars. There is a painting on the wall, of the Enola Gay, against a beautiful morning sky. The caption reads; "Dawn, The World Forever Changed". For me, on that more recent day at dawn, the world was forever changed. The previous night I had seen my first child abuse death. The kid was bruised all over, including around genitalia and rectum, and was a total mess. We worked it for some time, but we knew when they rolled in what the outcome would be. All faith I ever had in humanity was destroyed when I saw this up close.

Swine Flu

The Swine Flu is heating up. Where are those vaccines? Several people in our area have died, who I believe probably wouldn't have died from traditional seasonal flu. It seems like, when you look at our ED board, 75% of the complaints are fever, cough, flu-like symptoms, or exposure to flu, or positive flu test. All the pts wear masks, and things are crazy. wait times are through the roof. What will we do for room in the hospital if things get a little worse? Back to the vaccines, I guarantee these same people who rush thekids in for every little sniffle and demand testing and treatment for the swine flu are the same ones who will refuse the vaccine, and we will have to spend just as much time convincing them it is safe.

My Blog

I have to admit I started this blog, at least in part, because I thought maybe it could help support my meager residents income, but, several months in, nobody clicks on adds, and I don't make any money, and I have lost all illusions that it ever will. However, I continue to write, I think it is somewhat therapeutic for me, and also it allows me to get all these thoughts and experiences recorded, so I won't forget them. This blog is semi-anonymous at best, but it is still a nice outlet, where I feel like I can say atleast almost everything I want. So I continue, for my own enjoyment if nothing else.

Unusual Names

Along with repeat offenders, I think I will start a regular feature on unusual names that I have heard about or directly encountered in the ED. How about Candy Disch? Or twins Unique and Dunique? I think Dunique got the raw deal there. Another fabled set of twins is Orangello and lemonjello. Spelling orange jello and lemon jello! More to come I hope.

Stop The Skid Hogs!

Ok, so we aren't looking too great in conference play. We had a tough couple of weeks, and our championship hopes look slim at best. Time to buckle down this week in Arlington and take care of business. We can still make a good bowl, and its time to get some wins under our belts!