Pessary

A pessary is a small device worn, often by elderly women who have had multiple children, to hold bladder or uterus in place. It is a small plastic disc placed in the vagina. As you can imagine these things can get very nasty. All it takes is a demented nursing home pt. to forget that she has one of these for a couple months and.....zang! But nothing could prepare you for a chief complaint of "leaves from virginia". A friend of mine saw a lady, brought in by her daughter, with just this complaint. When he looked it was true. She had a vine, with leaves, protruding from her "Virginia". Turns out, the demented lady had secretly , for years, used slices of potatoes as pessaries! When she forgot that she had it in, the warm, moist environment was perfect for sprouting spuds!

New Format

Hi. Been a long time, I know. Anyway, the new format I was talking about is going to be too close this blog to public reading. I suspect people from my hospital spy on the blog, and I don't feel that I can write about what I want. So, for you people who are already followers, if you want to post or send me in some way your email address so I can add you after I go private, I would like that. If you don't follow already, sorry. I can't accept new email addresses now, because I won't be sure who it is. In short, I am going to turn this into a private space for me to write what I want, with no desire to publish publicly, but those of you few who have been loyal readers are welcome to come along. Let me know.

34 year old grandma

sewed up the arm of a 33 year old grandma tonight! How old was her grandchild? Well she has 6, but the oldest is 7!! How? That means she was a grandma at 26! if she was 13 when she had a child, who then had a child at 13, that is the only way this is possible (roughly).

New Post

It has been a while since I have made a new post, but working a lot in the ICU again. Also, I am thinking of going to a new concept on the blog in general. I will fill you many loyal readers in on this in the future. The world awaits with baited breath. As part of this new concept, I would ask all the people who casually follow the blog (if there are any) to add themselves to my official reader list, or whatever it is called. Being a follower will facilitate moving to the new style of blogging. You will understand when I unveil the new plan. Thanks for staying posted!

White Wedding

At a nearby doctor's office, where an internal med friend of mine was doing his "rural med" rotation, a wedding occured recently. The receptionist was married on her lunch break, with the doctors and office staff presiding. A minister showed up and everything. The cake was a dairy queen ice cream cake. Two Avatar action figures were placed on top, with their faces lit up. It was beautiful! After lunch, the groom went home, and the bride returned to work! They have no plans for a honeymoon. It is the third marriage for her, not sure about him.

The Hiney Shot at Walmart

Went to walmart this morning and noticed a large sign out front. "Free H1N1 shots....Lawn and Garden! I had to chuckle.

First Case Post By Red

Hi everybody! My name is really Arthur, but some people call me "Red". Hope you like the case format. These cases are not complete and are not intended to really teach, but are just for fun.....A three month old girl presents with profound muscle weakness, and "Floppyness". On exam, hepatomegaly is noted. The chest X-ray is shown. Note Cardiomegaly. There has been no exposure to honey or home canned goods. .....The child has Pompe disease......An autosomal recessively inherited lysosomal storage disease. The deficient enzyme is alpha glucosidase, which is needed for glycogen breakdown.......The disease was first characterized by Johann Pompe in 1932. Pompe was danish, and was executed in 1945 by Nazi Germany for espionage.....The disease is also featured prominantly in the upcoming film Extraordinary Measures, which I believe is a statement against big pharama, and Bristol Myers Squib in particular. ......Besides Botulism (alluded to in the pertinent negatives of the case), a differential would include Werdig Hoffman disease. ...Stay tuned for more cases in the future. I hope to do atleast one every couple of weeks. Thanks!

And Speaking of Dogs...

A nurse in the ED recently saw her grandfather pass away. He was old and chronically ill, and he was admitted through our ED and died several days later on the floor. I told the nurse I was sorry. She said thanks, but the worst part was that she had to pay the money to have the old man's dog euthanized. That Bitch!

Rectal Foreign Bodies

The people who have worked around an emergency department for years have seen all sorts of rectal foreign bodies. everything from gerbels (often in weather men or local news anchors if you believe the urban legends) to coke bottle to vibrators, shampoo bottles, fruits and vegetables, and whatever else you can think of. I have only seen a vibrator, a condom half full of crack (crack in the crack), and most impressive, one of these long oil funnels that is big on one end and tappered on the other. The bad thing is, this guy (who was just changing the oil in his car naked and slipped and fell on top of this thing on accident), had it in his rectum big end first! HOW!? Good thing is, it was easy to remove. pass a foley through the hole, blow up the balloon and pull it out. Crazy guy!.......in other news, arthur "Red" Heirin is working on his first case presentation for the blog, and it should be up soon. Stay tuned.